Mama: Sleep Training

Slightly superstitious, this is one post I am scared to write. One area of parenting where I have had some success (not even sure if it counts as success since I’m not sure it has anything to do with me) is getting my kids to sleep through the night. I used the same methods (mostly learned via the lovely NICU nurses who cared for Chace during his first three weeks) for scheduling with both boys, and Chace was sleeping through the night (10-12 hours) by 10 weeks. Andrew is now 7 weeks and has been sleeping for at least a six hour stretch since 3 weeks. In the past week or so, he has upped his sleep time to 8-9 hours.

I think a big part of scheduling is how you feed. I am sort of a weirdo in that I do give my kids breast milk, but I pump rather than feed directly. I also supplement with formula when necessary. These tips might not work for every mom, but they worked for me.

1. Start out feeding baby every three hours. Life isn’t clockwork, so I give myself a window of 2.5-4 hours. I made sure that both boys always ate within this timeframe.

2. Change baby before or after you feed and then let sleep, hold, etc. in between feedings. If baby seems fussy before 2.5 hours, try to soothe him or her without feeding.

3. Do not let your baby sleep longer than 4 hours during the day. According to one of Chace’s nurses, babies don’t know night from day, so they might sleep for a long stretch during the day and start thinking that is bedtime. It’s important to make the distinction. If baby is sleeping peacefully and it’s time to eat, try unwrapping his/her swaddle or stroking his/her face to get him/her awake enough to feed.

4. Choose 2-3 “cycles” that you want to make bedtime. You might choose these based on your schedule or try to gauge when your child seems to want to fall asleep naturally. After these feedings, swaddle baby and put in crib, bassinet, etc. Try to get him/her to sleep in there for the full cycle time. Most newborns doze after feedings at least for the first couple of weeks, so take advantage of getting him/her used to his/her sleep space. Even if he/she looks super comfy on the boppy, unless that’s where you want him/her to end up sleeping, move him/her. Keep the routine consistent (diaper, feed, snuggle, bed, for example). If he/she needs a little soothing to fall asleep, try to figure out what works (swaddle, mobile, sound machine) and keep it consistent. I swear my kids started to associate certain techniques with bedtime. For example, Chace had a projection mobile he loved to go to sleep to and Andrew likes background noise. Both did well in Swaddle Me wraps.

5. I found that if I kept the routine consistent during these cycles and did not let my babies sleep too long at a time during the day, the nighttime stretches gradually started to get longer. I did not wake either of my boys to feed during these bedtime cycles. I waited for them to let me know they were hungry. Eventually, each of them started to drop one feeding. So, if I fed Andrew at 8, he might sleep until 1 or 2, eat again, and then go back to sleep. Slowly, they both started to drop a second feeding as well. Now, if I feed Andrew around 8, he will typically sleep until 4 or 5. This, much like anything parenting related, is not a guarantee. There are some nights where he doesn’t last as long, but he always sleeps at least three hours between feedings at night, which, compared to some horror stories I have heard, is pretty good.

6. Track and document everything at first, even if you feel ridiculous. I kept a log in my phone, but there are also a lot of apps out there. I wrote down what time he ate, how much he ate and the ratio of breastmilk to formula, and whether or not he peed, pooped, or both. This helped me notice any patterns and also helped with consistency and a memory that was not exactly up to par. In addition, because I was pumping, I kept another log of my pump times, so I could be sure to pump every 3 hours to keep my supply strong.

I wrote EVERYTHING down. It's the easiest way to remember and spot patterns.

Pumping Schedule

7. Keep calm. Easier said than done, I know, but babies can smell fear. If you seem tense or upset baby will often mimic those emotions.

In my opinion, there is no one right way to parent a child. Breastfeeding didn’t work for me, but pumping does. Co-sleeping isn’t for me. I don’t have a problem with pacifiers. Everybody is different, but the goal of healthy, happy children who sleep through the night is the same. Now let’s pray I did not jinx things. I’ll end up with two screaming kids at 3am this morning. I can just feel it. :)