All parents have them… Those moments when that nagging question creeps into the back of our minds--am I doing a good job? And, chances are, most of us are doing just fine by our kids. Yet, we still get the feeling when we’re less than perfect, and none of us are, that maybe we should be doing better.
The other day, my four year old, Chace, asked me if he could read me a story. I was curious since he doesn’t read how he was going to pull this off. When I asked him what book, he said I’m just going to tell you the story. He proceeded to tell me a pretty damn good version of “The Three Little Pigs.” I was proud of his ability to remember the entire plot, but I found myself wondering where he learned the tale. It wasn’t one we had read together. He told me his teacher, Judi, used to tell it to them. I then spiraled into a negative head space that went something like this….
I should be telling him more stories. We haven’t been reading as many books lately. Is he bored staying home with me all summer? What else does he know that I don’t know he knows? I should be a better mom. Am I not doing enough activities with them? Am I not teaching him like I should be? I mean, I’m a teacher by profession for Christ’s sake.
Chace then asked me if I knew any stories to tell him. So, I gave him a completely butchered version of “Little Red Riding Hood.,” which he totally loved. This helped shift my mindset from the negative self-talk. It’s hard to juggle all of the roles we play in life. And with our kids, it’s impossible to get it all right all the time. Instead of letting moments like this haunt me for the rest of the afternoon, thus exacerbating my feelings of ineptitude, I needed to think about how to take these gut check moments and turn them into parenting wins.
I remembered Chace talking about sock puppets at one point, so I thought it might be a fun multi-day or at least multi-step activity to make some sock puppets representing the characters in “The Three Little Pigs,” so we could act out the story. The sock puppet creation would be one project. Then we would need to build the three houses. Finally, we could bring the story to life through a puppet show.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that every time you feel guilty for checking your email and not completely tuning in to your child’s tenth performance of the “Hot Dog Dance,” or turning on one more show to give you time to flip the laundry or start dinner, you should need to prep and put on a full-scale puppet show performance (I’m a teacher who’s home for the summer). I’m just saying don’t let it ruin your mood.
You could miss making a really great memory by dwelling on your shortcomings.
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